In the last season of the Golden Girls Blanche goes on a date with a man like she has never met before.  On their first date he makes her pay for her own meal and movie ticket, he didn’t open doors for her and just dropped her off in the driveway. This makes Blanche furious. When he shows up to explain he tells her that he has been reading up on what the modern woman wants and was just trying to treat her as an equal.

Blanche, not being much of a feminist, informed him that she didn’t want to be treated as an equal, she wanted to be treated better than him she wanted to be treated like a lady. She let him know that she expected him to open doors, pay for meals and put her on a pedestal.  There is more to the story, but this is the part that got me thinking about chivalry, feminism, glass ceilings and equality.

I, like Blanche, want to be treated better than just one of the guys. Several time throughout the series the girls talk about chivalry, flirting and being giddy over a man. I love that and it has been all but lost. It seems that nowadays if a man opens a door or pays a compliment to a woman he ends up either in human resources or is smeared to everyone he knows for being old-fashioned or rude.

I love it when a man opens a door, steps back on the elevator for me to go first, compliments me for the way I look or what I am wearing. There is nothing wrong with these things and some men of my generation still do them. I have found that many men of younger generations either ignore or have not been taught to do these things.

I believe in equality when it comes to voting or same pay for same work. I believe that if a woman chooses to work outside of the home that a man should help out around the house. I believe that a man can cook or do laundry and a woman can cut the grass or fix the toilet. Does this make me a feminist? I suppose it does if you look at it from a ’70’s point of view. Todays feminists are unrecognizable to me. They seem to hate men and I really don’t understand why. Todays feminists, to me, seem very angry and if there is a man in their life he walks two steps behind her.

In the past being a feminist meant equal rights for men and women. I understood it to stand for equal opportunity, being strong in the workplace and self-sufficient all the while still celebrating being feminine. Todays feminists seem to be all about hating men.

The Golden Girls had several episodes about being strong women.  The girls are doing fine as singles, but still find the need for men in their lives. In one episode Dorothy and Rose decide, after seeing the cost estimates, to install a toilet. The plumber that delivers the toilet tells them that they can’t do it. He says ” you need training, experience…you have to be a man!” He stated ” you’re  going through your feminist stage awfully late in life.”  Being from a different generation, Sophia agrees with the plumber.

Thinking about that episode and others that involve jobs, artificial insemination, remodeling the garage, and voting I see how feminism has changed over the years and can honestly say that by todays standards I am not a feminist. Yes, I believe in equal rights. I believe that women should have an equal voice, but I also believe that God created men and women to compliment each other not to compete.

One reason that I love the Girls so much, they are strong and independent but aren’t afraid to be sexy and sassy.  They enjoy being women and they love men that are men. They don’t tolerate a man who is abusive or disrespectful such as when Blanche’s daughter Rebecca brings home Jeremy. He was a big jerk and was constantly putting Rebecca down, criticizing her weight and her clothes. To salvage her relationship with her daughter, Blanche remains quite for a bit, but finally convinces her daughter that she is beautiful and important. She tells her that she doesn’t need to settle for a man who treats her that way. Blanche learns this lesson for herself when she dates a guy that is verbally abusive. Unlike some women of today, she doesn’t let the actions of one man taint her views of all men.

Chivalry isn’t dead, I just feel that it’s not being taught. Men that have been taught are sometimes afraid because women have become downright hateful.  I can’t imagine being offended because a man holds a door or insists that I go first.

Today I was watching the episode that initially lead to this post. Blanche ran out of gas and no one stopped to help her.  She comes in just devastated about it. She states, ” What ever happened to chivalry, when men tipped their hats, took your hand to help you down from your carriage, left calling cards at your door…”  Dorothy’s reply, ” How far back do you want to go Blanche, do you still want to vote?”

I don’t want to go back in time and I am thankful for those that stood up for my right to vote and be allowed to have all the same rights as a man. On the other hand, I love being a woman and agree with Blanche that I want to be treated better than how a man would treat a buddy. Yes, there are many that disagree with me and think that women are still oppressed. If you feel oppressed, do something about it other than blaming someone else.  Be proactive with your own situation instead of following the crowd to the streets to scream at the sky.

This post may have rambled and I am aware that my opinions differ from some, but that’s the beauty of equality and the first amendment. We live in a great country with all differing views and ideas.

Until Next Time…

Thank You for Being a Friend

MG