The Golden Girls are on Hulu. I really didn’t want to talk about “the show”, but this  has been on my mind.

This is somewhat concerning to me and I would like to take this opportunity to tell you why. I know that they have been in syndication for many years and they do have somewhat of a following with the LGBT community because they, on several occasions, tackle issues of having gay siblings, friends and even once Dorothy and Blanche were mistaken for being lesbians. That is not my issue.

My issues are that the writing will be attacked by the PC police and the show will go the way of the Dukes of Hazzard. Not many of the shows that we used to watch would survive the political correctness of todays society if presented as new shows.  M*A*S*H, Seinfeld and Cheers are a few that come to mind. The other issue that I have is that so much of the humor will be lost simply because the new audience may not recognize the some of the references. I know it’s an old show, but they often spoke of real issues, authors, celebrities and other things relevant to our history.

I am wondering how many of the under 30 set catch  the humor when Dorothy compares herself and the other girls to  the Bronte Sisters or the Gabor’s ? I especially loved the episode where they dress up as Sonny and Cher. Blanche, thinking they are Cheech and Chong gets this reply from Sophia, “I’m the mayor of Palm Springs…” Hilarious to me, but could be easily glossed over by the new viewers.

When Blanche said that she wrote her phone number on a mans windshield with the heel of her pappagallo pump, it brought back memories for me, but am sure not many young people buy pappagallo anymore. They do still sell them, but they don’t seem to be very popular with the Hulu watching generation.

The show was often not very political correct, according to todays standards. Blanche often spoke of the Old South and her father, Big Daddy. She once was telling a story about listening to the stories of “Abraham and Moses… and all the others that worked on the plantation.” Oh boy, that wouldn’t fly today!

Some parts of the show were, at the time, very edgy. The girls often talked about sex. Although they were ladies in their 50’s or 60’s, with Sophia being 80 something, sex was very important in their lives. Once Rose told the girls that she and her late husband Charlie had sex twice a day for 18 years. He said that’s why they didn’t get headaches and their hair was always shiny!

The show often tackled subjects that seemed taboo to talk about at the time. As mentioned above, gay siblings and friends. They also gave the audience something to think about from other real world issues such as giving birth out-of-wedlock, teen pregnancy, promiscuity, mental illness, nuclear war, May-December romances, crime, guns, HIV, sexism, racism, nuclear war, persons with disabilities, death, addiction, religion and age discrimination… I could go further into depth on any one of these, but then I’d have nothing to put in another page and this one would be a book rather than a blog!

Today I just wanted to point out why the show was such a big hit; big enough to stand the test of time and be brought back on a popular media platform. Although it was a comedy, the topics discussed were real. Often, one or more of the girls didn’t accept the realities of things happening, but worked through them with the help of the others. It truly was a show about acceptance and plain ‘ol being nice even when you didn’t understand or agree with the person or situation put before you. Many lessons were taught, but it was up to the viewer to learn.

I will try to dig deeper into these subjects on another day. In the meantime, take the time to watch an episode or two. Tune in for the laughs, but watch for the wisdom.  It’s my wish that the new viewers of the show can see that it’s okay not to like someone or something that you don’t agree with or understand; but that it’s not okay to hate, protest or try to change the person or thing with which you disagree.  We can learn a lot from the girls, one thing being to just be nice to people, no matter your differences. Often the change that needs to be made is within ourselves.

Until we meet again…Thank You for being a Friend

MG

Being a good mom is a topic that is hidden deep in many episodes of the Golden Girls.  If you don’t watch them daily as I do, you might miss some of the wisdom, mistakes and triumphs of motherhood that they present.

Our mothers shape our values, our world views and our personalities. I am not going to discuss what makes a good or bad mother, although I firmly disbelieve the facebook memes insisting that sticky floors, unmade beds and heaping laundry makes for a better mom…but I digress

When I was growing up we had chores. We didn’t have a lot of chores, mainly because my mom was quite the perfectionist and if it were to be done correctly it had to be done by her. ( a trait that I inherited and am not sure if it is a good or bad thing). She did, however, teach us to do things. We were often responsible for drying and putting away dishes. Washing them was quite the promotion because they had to be done “right” and that took time, practice and skill. I didn’t do laundry or make a bed until I was about 17.

I raised my kids the same way. They had chores like picking up toys, taking out trash and helping fold towels. I, unlike my mother, had a dishwasher and loading it was equivalent to her washing skills, it had to be done by me.

My kids had many privileges, but they also had responsibility. They grew up in the time before every five year old had a cellphone or a tablet. They did have video games and televisions in their rooms. This was a bone of contention with some other parents that I knew. One even asked me “How can you send them to their room if its a place that they enjoy?” My reply ” I don’t, I send them to the dungeon or the snake pit in the back yard.” (I can be pretty snarky at times) In actuality,  when they were teenagers, we usually just had a yelling match, came to a common ground, said I love you  and then it was over.

I never understood the “send them to their room” thing. It’s their room, it should be a place of comfort and the one place in the house that is theirs, not mom and dads.  That was one thing  that I did differ from my mom. Growing up my room was just a place where I slept in her house.  Toys were kept in the basement or outside. In high school I was allowed to put posters on the wall to make it mine,  but over all it was ” her house, her rules.”

We all get just one mom. Yes, many have step moms, aunts that are like moms, foster moms, adopted moms, heck, nowadays some have two moms or two dads.  My point is that we all have that one person that nurtured us the most, that raised us and shaped us into who we are today.  I am so thankful for my mom. She was sometimes hard on me and other times she’d let me get by with murder. ( gotta love me, I’m the baby!) I was pretty close to my mom, we talked every day for most of my life. Now that she is gone, I often find myself wanting to call her whenever something really good or really bad happens.  She was always my go to person during a crisis or a celebration.

If you are fortunate enough to have your mom still around, go see her!  If miles are separating you, write her a letter. Visits “just because” and handwritten letters are becoming a thing of the past, but to a mom they cherished moments and keepsakes. My boys visited last week “just because” and my daughter will be visiting this weekend. We had nothing planned for either visit, it’s “just a visit” and I love that.

This page has rambled a bit and I apologize. I am just missing my mom. I have missed her every day since she passed in 2009. As we approach Mother’s day I find myself thinking about her more often.  I’ll share one favorite memory of my mom and then I’ll close.

My mom loved red geraniums’. It seemed that we always planted them on Mother’s Day. Two big pots in the front yard and several on the back porch in the flower boxes that my dad made for her. Since her passing, I always try to plant geraniums’ on or near Mothers’ day.  I think they are beautiful, but mostly it reminds me of my mom. I hope that she is smiling down and is proud of who I have become.

Happy Mothers’ Day

Thank you for being a friend!

MG

 

 

 

 

Rose is always telling stories about her hometown, St.Olaf, MN. It often would grind on the nerves of the other girls prompting Dorothy to say, “BACK IN ST. OLAF, BACK IN ST. OLAF, do you think that we might ever get tired of hearing Back in St. Olaf?” Roses reply, “Well no… Back in that town I’m not suppose to mention.”  Needless to say, their frustrations never stopped her from telling the tales of the town that she loved so much.

Having spent most of my life in the same town, I often find myself telling “back in…” stories and sometimes wonder if my husband or my new friends have the same reaction as Dorothy. No one has ever reacted to me in such a way, but I sometimes see the glazed look in their eyes!

I love my hometown. Granted the people were not as colorful as the ones on St. Olaf. There was no Little Yimminy, the boy who was raised by a wild moose. And no one in my town, (to my knowledge) was born without smiling muscles as was Old Lady Hickenlooper.  We did however, as most towns do, have some locals that everyone knew whether it be city-wide or just in the neighborhood.

I suppose that everyone finds their hometown to be special and likes to tell their stories. I have found that growing up and living most or all of your adult life in the same town isn’t as common as I assumed. Over the course of the past 3 years, I have met many people who haven’t been in one place more than a couple of years. At first, I was fascinated and thought that they must have wonderful stories of new people and places. It was not as exciting as one might think. After talking with them, I feel very fortunate to have only lived in one place. I am not saying that one way is better than the other, only that for me being in the same place for most of my 53 years was a good thing.

Now that I don’t live in my hometown any longer, I find myself telling stories about the people and places that are dear to me. Some of the stories which seem funny or exciting to me are not met with the same enthusiasm from people in my new surroundings. I have learned to save some of my memories for when I go back home. It is so fun to sit and reminisce with family and friends without having to set the stage or explain who certain people are and how you know them.

I could jammer on as Rose does about the people from my hometown, but just like Dorothy, your eyes would probably glaze over and interest would be lost. I do, however, want you to take this opportunity to think about your hometown and all the colorful people who have shaped your life. Some touch us in small ways and others have lifelong impacts that shape our personalities.

Whether you moved around a lot or stayed in one place, remember the people and cherish the stories. Take time to talk to people, especially the older people in your life. Write things down so that your children and grandchildren can read your tales. Life gets so busy these days and so much of it is spent looking at a phone or a computer screen. Turn them off, call a friend, make a cup of coffee and tell them about how things were “back in…”

 

Until next time…Thank You for Being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

Sicily 1922…. Sophia often started stories this way. Her tales were often far-fetched, but always had an underlying truth, often there was a bit of wisdom and the girls usually got answers to their problem at hand. Today I am going to try my hand at Sophia style storytelling.

Picture it, the United States 2012… A frightened, heartbroken, penniless woman loads her vehicle to return to her village (I know, my hometown is not a village, but it adds color to the story).  Upon arrival her daughter welcomes her and offers her a place to stay. While searching for employment the woman starts to date. She meets a few nice guys, dating one the first night and another the next. She isn’t looking for romance, just a few free meals so that she can save her money and move out of her daughter’s house. Praying for a grandchild while sleeping in the next room seemed a bit ridiculous!

Finally the day comes that she can move out and buy her own food! While working two jobs and doting over her youngest and a new puppy she decides to give up on the dating scene. Being 50 years old she decided that it really was just too much work and quite frankly was tired of first dates and restaurant food.

One evening, after an exhausting day of working both jobs she decides to cut ties with all the guys that she had met and remove herself from the dating site that she had been using. Because she was giving up on dating but hadn’t lost her eyesight, she decided to give the picture forum one more glance……And there He was!   Where did he come from? Why had she not seen him before? She opened up the page and read his story.

It wasn’t a particularly fascinating story,there were no catch phrases that most of the others use. There was no braggadocio grander of world travels, none of the “I have a boat”; “my kids are my world”; “look at my muscles”; “look how much beer I can drink”; “I’m the one you’re looking for” stuff. (Yes. that is what they say. If you haven’t dated in the cyber world, good for you, it’s exhausting!)  It was just a simple profile of a man wanting a friend because he was working in town for a few months. The pictures were nice, one fishing, one with a dog and one with his daughters. A few months? just friends? no commitment? no expectations? That all sounded perfect, plus he was very handsome. So she decided that instead of deleting the account to send him message…

…He replied. His messages were short and very kind.  The messages turned into phone calls. The calls were great, he seemed to be a perfect gentleman, none of the “what are you wearing” type of talk, just good conversation with a seemingly shy man.  They arranged to meet on his first day in town, not a date, just meet , shake hands and have lunch.  Even after several weeks of phone calls, she was still under the impression that he simply wanted a tour guide and a companion for his short stay.

The moment he stepped from his vehicle, she knew that he was special. It was as if he was returning to her, not meeting for the first time. She later found out that he felt the same way. During that first lunch, they deleted the dating apps together. I know, mushy hallmark channel stuff, but that is how it happened.

The days passed, the weeks passed, and after nearly two months he started thinking about his next job and the reality that he was leaving her “village”.  He suggested that she come with him… marry him. “What? Quit her job? Leave her friends, family and her new grandson?” (Yes, the prayers were answered, she moved out and her grandchild prayers were answered.)

She said yes and the rest of the story is for another day!

I suppose that there are several lessons here. There is such a thing as a free lunch, Keep praying for that grand baby, and go on one more first date… talk to the shy guy that just wants a friend…. He may be your last first date.

Until next time..Thank You for being a Friend

MLG

 

 

“I never had PMS…But I had a BMW!”

The start of season 2 opened with Blanche thinking that she was pregnant. Turns out it was menopause. I loved this episode! Rose faints; Sophia, as she often does, makes a quip about Blanches active sex life…” If its a boy she can name it after his father, Rick, Joe, Bob, Don, Dave.”;  Dorothy tries to remain the voice of reason.

The girls explore all the different ways that they experienced their cycles of life from puberty to menopause.  According to Sophia “I got it, nobody told me; I didn’t get it, nobody told me…I went back to my meatballs.” Rose sailed through her child bearing years and menopause with out much notice. “I live in Miami, who can tell the difference between a hot flash and a weather front?” Dorothys experience was more like mine. “PMS…Cramps once a month, eating binges once a month, going crazy once a month.”

Menopause put an end to all of that, but oooh those hot flashes! Waking up in the middle of the night in a pool of sweat, throwing off your clothes and vowing to cut your hair, all the while your husband is sleeping sound, under three blankets. You just want to punch him, but you don’t because he looks so darn cute. Okay, that looking cute part is probably just me because I am still somewhat of a newlywed but I digress….

Sophia said ” You grow a beard.” Well, I never grew a full on beard, but have been sitting in my car on a sunny day and noticed stray hairs growing from my face. Not pretty! I now carry tweezers everywhere I go. I am not sure which is more embarrassing, having a few stray hairs or sitting in my car at the local Walmart plucking them out.

So far menopause hasn’t been too bad. I can handle a few hot flashes and a few stray hairs. It doesn’t mean, as Blanche thought, that my life is over. It simply means that I can no longer bear children and since my youngest is 23 that is a good thing! “The Change” has however, changed me. I seem to be a much more easy-going person. I still get riled up about things ( I am very competitive and don’t take direction well, but that’s another day). I get upset mostly about a messy house or a ruined dinner. More often than not these things cause more tears than anger…those dang hormones or lack of!

For me all that really matters is that my husband loves me regardless of the hot flashes, the three hairs that I call a beard, or an occasional bad dinner. He tells me that I am beautiful, says that he can’t see the beard and eats everything that I put before him. I think I have a keeper!

I suppose the worst thing about menopause, or any other life changing event, would be to go through it alone. I am so blessed to have family and friends that are always there for me and that’s pretty darn special!

Until next time…Thank You for being a Friend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am glad that you have joined me while I journal my thoughts about the Golden Girls and how watching this show from the late 80’s has changed my outlook on life and has made me a better person. The wisdom and laughter that I get from watching “The Girls” is pure gold and I hope to share my insights with you and hope that you too will gain a new way to look at the world. If nothing else, I hope to make you chuckle and appreciate friendship. Together we can “travel down the road and back again”

Until next time….Thank You for Being a Friend