I said in my first few posts that I wasn’t going to talk much about the show, only the characters and how they relate to my life.  Apparently today is Golden Girls Day, so I want to talk a little about the show,  why I love it and the following that it has gotten since its final episode May 9, 1992.

I watched the show occasionally during its original run, but as I have said before being a young mother in her 20’s I really didn’t relate, but it filled a Saturday night when the kids were little. I found it very funny, but only realized later on what a wonderful show it was.  During its original run The Golden Girls received 11 Emmy awards, had 68 nominations and won four Golden Globe Awards.

In a nutshell, the show is about having adult children, having grand children, being widowed or divorced, dating after 50 ( in Blanche’s world, over 40), menopause and friendship. The show tackles those topics in humourous way, but each episode has a “bit of wisdom hidden deep, deep inside”, as stated by Rose when she and the others were discussing Sophia possibly leaving the house.

I enjoyed watching reruns when the show went into syndication. The Girls filled many late night hours for me. In 2011 my daughter bought me all seven seasons on DVD. It was then that my obsession began. I watch the show everyday. I started with season one sometime around Mother’s Day of that year and have watched each and every episode in order over and over.

I am definitely one of their biggest fans. I not only have all seven uncut seasons, but I have books, candles, T-shirts, tote bags, phone cover and coffee cups. When I was single and still in my hometown my friends and I would often talk about which one of “the Girls” we most resembled or wanted to be like. Nothing really serious, just girl talk over a glass of wine, cup of coffee or a cheesecake. I once hosted a watch party and invited all of my single again girlfriends. Some of my married friends also attended because as Dorothy says ” ya never know…”  ( if you’re a fan, you’ll get that!)  I am even working on a book, which has so far gone in about eight different directions,  for the time being this blog will have to do.

In just the past few years I have noticed the show getting more and more popular. In June of 2003 The Golden Girls Reunion aired on Lifetime and was the networks highest rated special ever in total viewers. Thanks to DVD’s, HULU, YouTube, TVLand, Logo and the Hallmark Channel the Girls have a new following that I wish Rue, Estelle and Bea could see.  I love that technology not even available when the show first aired is allowing it to live on and be seen around the world for many years.

I feel that I am rambling so I’ll bring things around and close. The Golden Girls was a marvelous show with amazing actors. The chemistry that the four women had as actresses was something very special that is rarely seen.  The show was well written except for the storyline gaffes due to new writers with nearly each season. It stands the test of time, nostalgia is often fleeting and the original fans will eventually pass on. The Golden Girls will continue to attract new fans. It’s a happy show that is easy to watch. It can lull you to sleep at night, serve as background noise during a busy day or in my case, become part of who you are. I love the Girls and watching them has gotten me through some pretty tough times. They make me laugh out loud, cry a little at times and give me great ideas for my writing. I will probably continue to watch them everyday as long as I am able.  Like Dorothy, I married the man of my dreams and moved away, but if I am ever alone again, (hopefully that won’t happen until my only character choice is Sophia…but I digress.) I hope to have new friendships like those portrayed in the show.

Happy Golden Girls Day!!!!

Until Next Time…Thank You for Being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

 

 

 

This post isn’t typical of my other writings, no funny quips or quotes, but it is a difficult and important topic to discuss. I don’t have a lot to offer on the subject that hasn’t already been said. I have, however, lost a few friends and our country has lost some great talent due to suicide. It is a very tragic thing and the feelings that the living are left with are overwhelming. There is grief, sadness, guilt and anger. We often feel that we somehow failed the deceased person. We feel angry at them because suicide seems to be a very selfish act, then we feel guilty again for feeling angry.  It is an act that is seldom understood with many unanswered question. This post may ramble as I am still wondering why a person would give up. In the words of Sophia ” If I were dying, I’d want every paramedic in town jumping up and down on my chest.”  Suicide is a choice that I will never understand, but one that needs to be discussed.

In season 5 of the Golden Girls Sophia and her friend Martha return from a funeral and Martha is very distraught because deceased was her best friend.  Her friend had some health issues that caused her great suffering in her final days.

Fast forward a couple of days… Martha invites Sophia to dinner to inform her that she has many health problems, doesn’t want to suffer like her friend and that she intends to take her own life. She asks Sophia to be with her when she does this.  Sophia agrees, but has reservations that keep her up at night. She wants to be there for her friend, yet she views her presence as murder.

She shows up at Martha’s house, but instead of sitting by while Martha kills herself, Sophia talks with her about all the reasons that she has to live and promises to be there for her.

I share this episode because I have recently lost another friend to suicide and I wonder what causes a person to give up hope. In Martha’s case, she felt lonely and didn’t want to die alone.  She wanted to feel in control of her life. she told Sophia that ” she feared suffering and didn’t want to die by inches.”  I don’t understand this kind of hopelessness, but I do know that it can happen to anyone. Suicide does not discriminate, it doesn’t recognize social status, gender, color or fame.

Suicide is not a mental illness, it is the final stage of hopelessness. It is not something that can be diagnosed, when it happens it is always too late. I have no words of wisdom to prevent it and I am no expert on the topic. It often strikes the people who seem the strongest. When a celebrity takes his or her life, people are often stunned. They have fame, money, and friends and we often wonder how could things be so bad to want to leave this world?

A person can feel alone even in a crowd. There are warning signs of suicide, but they are often subtle and we need to actively look for them. If you have a friend that talks about being a burden, feeling trapped or hopeless, be there for them and just as Sophia did remind them of the reasons to live. A change in behavior is often a warning sign. A person with suicidal thoughts often withdraws from social activity, increases their use of alcohol, or starts contacting old friends or family members to profess their love or to give away prized possessions. The persons mood can change, sometimes it improves because in their eyes they can finally see improvement in the form of their death. Health diagnosis, depression, job loss, divorce or exposure to another suicide can trigger suicidal thoughts.

One thing I do know is that we need to be better friends. Often when someone takes their own life, we wonder “what could I have done? Why didn’t I call or answer the phone?” If someone is set on leaving this world behind, there isn’t much that we can do. We can, however, be there for them making the world a place that they don’t want to leave. Often a kind word or an invitation for coffee can make all the difference in a person’s life. If you have a friend or family member that has a sudden change in mood or has experienced a loss, be there for them. Ask questions, listen and offer them hope and most importantly follow through.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, reach out to others. Don’t give up, keep calling until someone listens.

There is no one answer to preventing suicide, but being aware of the people around us and doing what we can to give them self-worth is one step that we can take. Sometimes it’s the quiet person at work, the outgoing girl at school or it could be the handsome guy at the gym. As I said before, suicide knows no boundaries. Rich, poor, socialite or loner, it can happen with or without warning. All that we can really do and must do, is pay attention, look for  warning signs in others and in ourselves. If you feel overwhelmed or hopeless, call a friend, call your clergy, or call the prevention hotline:  1-800-273- 8255.  Keep this number written down or put it in your contacts. It could save your life or the life of a friend.

Until Next Time…Thank You for Being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are several episodes of The Golden Girls where they struggle with friendship. Dorothy often finds her life in the house to be boring and mundane, Rose wants everyone to like her and often goes overboard only to be rejected. Blanche has few female friends outside of her roommates and Sophia often deals with friends dying or moving away.  Often one of them is feeling lonely and rejected, but always find a way to overcome with the help of the other three.

I have always struggled to make meaningful friendships. As I sit here alone watching the girls I often wonder why I can’t seem to make many lasting friends. I thought about each of the girls personalities and have come up with a few thoughts to shed light on my problem.  I have said before that my least favorite character on the show is Dorothy. Maybe this is because I am most like her. Dorothy is strong, outspoken and often speaks her mind at the expense of alienating others. I don’t like that I have this trait, but it is what it is. About three days after starting what turned out to be one of my most favorite jobs, I was overwhelmed by all of the friendly ladies coming to my office to join birthday groups, coffees clubs, fundraisers, etc…  I, out loud by the way, announced, “I am here to work, not join groups or make friends.”  The message was loud and clear and needless to say, I had very few work friends.

In one particular episode where Rose joined a group that encouraged positive thinking and self-love, Dorothy and Sophia attended a meeting with her. Dorothy stood up and told them what a bunch smiling nut-jobs they were and that life is not all peaches and cream. The speaker told her that she was too negative and chose only to see the negative in the world instead of what is right about it. More than I care to admit, that’s how I often look at life.

My life isn’t dreadful and I do have happy times, but I do often find myself actively looking for the negative in people and situations. I typically do this when I am in new surroundings. Since I began traveling with my husband, my surroundings change often and I have really struggled with having a more positive outlook. I have met a few people who I enjoy talking with, but not anyone that I would consider a friend.

I have always been somewhat of a negative Nelly and before it never really bothered me. I had my family and a few close friends that accepted me flaws and all. Now that I am older, I find my attitude toward people changing and I long for meaningful friendships. I am not sure how to make friends and it may be too late for me.

What it’s not too late for is to just be a better person. I want to be that person that is always smiling. I want to be the one that is helpful and kind. I guess I want to be Rose, not Dorothy!

In one episode Rose was having a problem at work. One of her co-workers didn’t like her. The others didn’t see this as a huge problem. Rose told them that everyone always likes her. She said,  “Dorothy, you’re the smart one, Blanche is the sexy one, Sophia is the old one and I am the nice one.”.  That’s what I want, I want to be the nice one.

Being nice seems to come naturally to some and is a struggle for others. I have always tended to fall into the latter category. I have been paying close attention to how I interact with strangers and have found that although I smile and chat, I don’t actively listen. It’s natural for people to talk about themselves and often instead of listening they are thinking about what they want to say next. I am guilty of this but am trying to listen more and talk less.

I have been practicing this approach on people who I have met here. I am actually enjoying it. I have learned a lot about other people, all the while keeping things about myself a mystery. It is quite fun to learn about others, but I often find myself asking questions as if I am interviewing them. To my husband these types of conversations come naturally. He can ask questions that engage people without it feeling like an interrogation. I suppose that is what makes him a good leader and boss. I ask him how he does this and he said that people love to talk about themselves and if you just open the door with one good question they will take the lead.

The place that we are living at now is very pet friendly. I have found this to be a great ice breaker. I tried my husbands tactic by asking just one question about my neighbors pet and she opened up about her dog, her cat and the stray that she feeds.  I really enjoyed listening to her speak about something that she is passionate about. The conversation was great and she really lit up talking about her pets.

Speaking of pets, I suppose that you really can teach an old dog (me) new tricks. I know that it’s a little late in my life and traveling isn’t the perfect situation to make lasting friendships, but its worth a try. If nothing else, I can smile, ask a good question and maybe bring a bit of joy to someone’s day.

Until Next Time…Thank You For Being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

There is a quizstar thing going around Facebook called “who’s in your cartel?” Several of my friends have posted this and on two of them I popped up as “weapons expert”. I will be the first to admit that I am not an expert on any weapon. I did qualify expert on the range exactly one time while in the Marine Corps and I could take apart and reassemble my weapon in a fairly swift manner. Does that make me an expert? I think not.

I know that guns and gun control is a hot topic at the moment and I don’t want to get into a debate about that. I do want to talk about responsible gun ownership. You may be thinking, “where do the Girls fall into this conversation?” There was an episode in season one where their home gets robbed while they are away at a Madonna concert. Out of fear, they decide to get a security system. That didn’t help Rose so she went out and bought a gun. She stated that she was taught to use it, but when she displayed her target to the other girls Blanche said, ” Honey there are no holes in it.”  Dorothy just freaked out and said that she can’t live in a house with a gun. Nonetheless, Rose keeps the gun and when she hears a noise in the night she comes out shooting. She shot toward Blanche and her date, missing them, but destroying a large Chinese vase.

The scene that I described makes for good comedy, but is by far no argument for owning or using a gun. In fact, it could be quite the opposite. It could prove that having guns in your home is dangerous and irresponsible. In that light, let me dig a little into safe, responsible gun ownership and personal protection.  As stated before, I am by no means an expert on the topic, but I do have opinions and a few tips.

I grew up with guns in the house. My father wasn’t a hunter, although I do think that he hunted before I was born, there were shotguns on an open rack in the basement family room. I remember my oldest brother talking about rabbit hunting. My father was also a police office and I remember the forbidden “gun drawer”. We were told as children to never open that drawer and growing up in a generation where the parents were boss the drawer was never opened. Today we have to have locked safes, long discussions, even debates with children about household rules. That is another topic, so I digress…

Most of my adult life I never had guns. My first husband wasn’t against them, just wasn’t interested in them. My current, second, and forever husband is a hunter and is very interested in handguns, rifles and shot guns. He has encouraged me to learn the handling of each. I am most comfortable with handguns mostly because I am not a hunter.

We travel together a lot and he travels some alone. In either case, I find myself with large blocks of alone time. My husband taught me to shoot and encouraged me to take safety courses and apply for a conceal carry permit, which I have and utilize.  As with anything, if you are going to be good at it, it takes practice. As in the case of The Golden Girls, Rose bought a gun and just started shooting towards any bump in the night. It’s these types of scenarios played out in television or the movies that blankets all gun ownership as bad and irresponsible.

Lately there has been a huge attack on a large section of Americans. I am talking about the members of the NRA. Most members, including myself, are responsible gun owners that take ownership very seriously and know that without practice and common sense one should never just start wielding a weapon. We also believe that having a weapon and knowing how to use it properly is our first line of defense for our families should an armed home intruder choose our home.

I have, thankfully, never had to shoot my weapon outside of a range setting. I hope that I am never in a situation that requires shooting. I am, however, prepared for it. I practice often with an unloaded weapon. I mostly practice drawing from a concealed position. Having a gun in your purse is useless if you can’t get to it.

Contrary to what mainstream media tells you, gun owners are not a bunch of paranoid preppers waiting for the world to end. they also are not trigger happy individuals waiting to shoot someone. Other than hunting, many never fire a weapon outside of a range type setting.

Getting back to the show; Rose was being irresponsible with her gun. Did she have the right to purchase it? Yes. Was she prepared to use it? No. I am not advocating that everyone should own a firearm.  Simply owning a gun because it’s your legal right does not keep your family safe. You need to learn how to use it properly. It’s much more than just pulling the trigger.  It takes time, care and practice, practice, practice!

When I got my first handgun I was much like Rose. My first target had very few holes in it. I was glad to have at least hit it, but if I had fired in the night as she did, I too would have shot the vase. With practice and knowledge of my weapon, I now feel confident that if I were ever in a life threatening situation I will be able to protect myself and hopefully those around me.

Until next time… Thank You for being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have been attempting to write an old year/new year post for about two weeks. In the words of Blanche Devereaux, ” I have writers block, it’s the worst feeling in the world.”  It’s either that or I have just ran out of things to say. I am sure that it is merely a creative block, I never seem to run out of things to say.

I think that my inability to write comes from stress. I am not usually a stressed out person, but when it hits, it is like a tsunami and I can’t stay focused on anything but survival. Okay, it’s not as dramatic as that. My life is pretty good, golden actually. I have all that I need and most of what I want.

I think that my current stress began around Christmas. I always strive for perfection and almost never achieve it. Before the holidays I have visions of my family gathered around a perfect meal, everyone getting the perfect gift, perfectly decorated cookies and candy, and no one has a schedule. Just hours and hours of perfect family harmony enjoying traditions built over the years.

Good dream, right? The reality of my holidays in the most recent years have barely included any of those things. Cookies are made, but not decorated, my Christmas dinner has failed miserably 3 out of 4 times and shopping for adult children is a chore in itself. My grandson, who is 3, is usually the only one that is genuinely surprised and happy about presents. Don’t get me wrong, I know that my children appreciate their gifts, but it is often exactly what they asked for therefore no surprises! I don’t want this to be a rant about bad holidays so I digress…

I am also a bit stressed that after being home for nearly two years, my husband’s job is taking us to another state to live in a hotel for several months. I love going with him and am fortunate that I am able to, but the preparation is nerve-wracking. I never know what to take. We will only be a few hours from home, but I really hate to drive. Once I am there I want to have everything that I need.Once we are there I am sure that I will calm down and fall into a routine. I just get so dang worked up in anticipation of what might be.  I know that I shouldn’t worry about things of which I have no control, but isn’t that what worry is?

Well, this post has been short, not very entertaining and not much said about the Girls. Once I am settled into my new surroundings I am sure that my mind will clear and I can write again. Maybe I’ll take a break from writing lists and packing suitcases. I haven’t sat down for more than a couple of episodes of the Golden Girls since before Christmas. An afternoon of the Girls may get the creative juices flowing!

I hope that everyone reading had wonderful holidays and that 2018 has started in a positive direction! Thank you so much for reading, especially to those that give feedback, follow or share my posts with others. It’s amazing to know that others enjoy (or not) the thoughts that I put to paper, so to speak. Have a great New Year!!!

Until Next Time… Thank You for Being a Friend!

MLG

 

 

 

 

The Golden Girls ran for seven years and there were only a couple of episodes about Christmas. I especially liked the one where the girls are going home for the holidays. It never really rang true to me until a few years ago when I moved from my hometown.

Although I loved living near my family for most of my life, it’s a little exciting to “go home” for Christmas.  There is just something about loading up the car and going to see my family.

I love the Christmas season. I don’t decorate like I used too. I used to set up multiple trees, decorate the kitchen and bathrooms. I would adorn the outside with lights, a blow up penguin, set candles in every window  and wreaths on every door. I am not really sure what the penguin had to do with Christmas, but I think I got him at an after Christmas sale and he just became part of the decorations.  Now there is no tree, no lights and the penguin sits in a box in the attic. I haven’t become a Scrooge, but with us traveling to see family it just isn’t worth the effort. I put up a tree last year and a total of 2 people saw it. This year I do have little decorations around. I did decorate the bathroom, have out my favorite nativity scene, and wreaths on each door.  I suppose my point here is that I decorate for others to enjoy. I am sure that my husband enjoys the snowmen hand towels in spite of the fact that he is not allowed to touch them!

As I have grown older I have come to appreciate the spirit of Christmas more and more. It isn’t about the decorations or the presents. It is about the birth of Christ and what his life means in ours. I imagine the joy that Mary had knowing, yet not fully understanding that she had given birth to the Son of God. I have no idea the weight of that, but as a mother I do know that the love for a child is greater than anything. Children are a gift from God, our greatest presents. I know that I often brag on my children, as most parents do. Mine are not perfect, but they make me so proud. I thank God everyday for the gift of their love.

This Christmas season as I prepare to “go home” to see my family I have reflected on what home really is. It’s not only a place on the map, but it’s a place in my heart. When I think of it, I don’t think of locations, I think of people. Home is a place that is comfortable, a place where you feel welcome and are able to be yourself. I have traveled a lot the past four years tagging along with my husband’s job. We have been able to make “home” just about anywhere. Whether it be a small apartment in Texas or a hotel room in Oklahoma, it always feel like home just because we are together.

I wish each of you a Joyous Holiday season. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Festivus (had to throw that one in for fun!)  As you gather with family or friends, whether it be a group of three or thirty, know that you are home when you have those that you cherish the most surrounding you.  In the words of Timothy Cratchit, “God Bless Us Every One.”

Until Next Time… Thank You For Being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

 

I realized today that in seven seasons of the Golden Girls, not one episode is about Thanksgiving.  I am not sure why the light bulb went off today, as I have seen every episode, uncut, at least one hundred times. So, todays post is nothing about the Girls, but about me and my favorite holiday.

I suppose I was thinking about Thanksgiving because I celebrated it with my children three weeks before the actual holiday. Now that my children are grown ups with jobs, families, pets, and in-laws I try to accommodate their schedules. I live nearly three hours from them and getting them all here at the same time often proves to be a challenge.

I love Thanksgiving, it has become my favorite holiday. I so enjoy the cooking and the gathering of family. It’s not a time for gifts, costumes or fireworks. It is a time to celebrate those for which you are thankful. Being a Christian home it’s a time for us to thank God for all of the blessings in our lives.

Thanksgiving, to me, is a time of reflection. While I am preparing our family meal I am often thinking about when my children were small and our family was large. I am not sure when it happened, but as my mother aged Thanksgiving became my holiday to host. I loved it, I didn’t have to travel with three small children and cooking and hosting parties is kind of my thing.

Over the years things have changed. Marriages, divorces, deaths and moving. The gatherings have become smaller, but more intimate. Although I love my extended family, it’s sometimes nice to celebrate with only my children and their families. I still do most of the cooking and miss out on conversations, but when I was cooking lunch and dinner for nearly 30, I missed more than just a few conversations.

This year our Thanksgiving celebration was a bit hectic, but was so enjoyable.  We had a car breakdown, (nothing major which was a blessing), dinner was about four hours late, an extra dog walk had to be planned for pups left at home, my dog went bat crazy on my daughters new pup and he had to be sequestered to the bedroom (my dog, not hers), and my grandson lost his glasses which created an all hands on deck hunt. Overall a normal, wonderful day!

Celebrating early has really messed with my holiday clock. It’s still a week and a half until the actual Thanksgiving day and I so want to decorate for Christmas and feel pressured to get my shopping and baking done. Maybe our gathering has only a little to do with my sense of urgency; have you seen the stores?  There have been Christmas items lining the aisles’ since before Halloween.  I’ll admit I do enjoy walking around looking at all the new decorations and doodads, but could we please celebrate one holiday at a time?

Before this turns into a rant about commerce, greed and an overkill of holidays at the end of each year, I will attempt a segue back to Thanksgiving and close with the things for which I am most thankful.

First and foremost I am thankful for my husband. He is amazing. He is the most patient and kind person that I have ever met. He is my best friend and every day spent with him is better than the one before.

I am also thankful for my children. I feel so blessed to see them succeeding at life. Whether it be in their jobs or relationships they all three have a “can do” attitude and accomplish most things that they set their minds to.  I love the adults that they have become, although I sometimes miss them needing mom. Knowing that they don’t tells me that I did a good job.

I am thankful for my grandson. What a wonderful little guy. He is so handsome, smart, and has a great personality. I cherish the time that I get to spend with him.

I am thankful for my siblings and my extended family. We don’t get together much, but they are always there for me with encouragement, prayers and sometimes just a good conversation to catch up on things.

I am thankful for America. We live in the greatest free country in the world. I am thankful for all of the men and women who fight for our freedom, especially those that gave the ultimate sacrifice in the fight.

I am thankful to God and the sacrifice of his son. It doesn’t matter what country you live in or your status in life, without Jesus living within your heart, there is no true freedom. I have been so blessed with family, friends and a great place to live all because of Him.

I will close with a final thought to take into your holiday season. As you celebrate this year remember to be thankful, not only on Thanksgiving, but every day.  Don’t allow the commercialism or busyness of Christmas make you lose sight of the reason that we celebrate.  There is no greater freedom than the one we find in Jesus Christ.

Until we meet again…Thank You for Being a Friend,

MG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love watching “The Girls”, but as with anything there are parts that I don’t like.  Two of my least favorite episodes, Love Under the Big Top and Empty Nest, had me thinking about my own life.

In Love Under the Big Top, Dorothy falls for a very successful lawyer that wants to quit and join the circus as a full-time clown.  He asks her to go with him. Although she likes him a lot, she finds out that she doesn’t love him and chooses to play it safe and stay in Miami.

The Empty Nest episode isn’t about the girls at all. It’s about a neighbor that finds herself alone after her daughter leaves for college and her husbands’ job consumes most of his time.

Watching these episodes yesterday, I found some similarities to my own life that I’d like to share.  My husband is not a circus clown, but he did ask me to leave my job and my family to go with him wherever his job takes him. Unlike Dorothy, I said yes.

It has been hard at times. I left my hometown when my only grandson was just a couple of months old. I miss seeing him as often as I’d like, but do like the fact that when I do see him its a big deal (it is to me anyway). The song “Over the river and through the woods” now has personal meaning to me. He is visiting this coming weekend. It will be his first visit without mom or dad. They will be three hours away so I hope that I can do the grandma thing good enough that he wants to stay.  I am sure that all will go well.

Since leaving the comforts of my hometown, I find myself having the “empty nest” feeling. My kids have long grown up and moved out, but they were always close by. At about the same time that I moved from “home” my youngest moved three hours away in the opposite direction.  I know that for most, that is not too far, but I have always lived near most of my family and moving away was about as painful as natural childbirth. Okay, I don’t know how painful that is because I had my babies, in the words of Blanche Devereaux , “The way God intended, strapped to a table and numb from the neck down”. but I digress… the point is that it was hard to leave the only town in which I have ever lived.  That brings me to the meat of my empty nest feeling.

Much like the neighbors husband, mine works a lot. Not complaining ( okay, maybe a little) but I am alone most of the time. The first year of our marriage was living in apartments or hotels not even in my home state…hated it, but loved my new husband so much that it was worth it. I have now been in my own house for nearly two years. One would think that being in the same place for two years would, by now, be comfortable and I would have new friends, places to go and people to see. Well, yes and no. This is where my Dorothy/Bea personality comes in. I like to just be home. I like to curl up with a good book or grab my coffee and sit down to an afternoon of The Girls. Although Dorothy is my least favorite of the four, I see a lot myself in her personality both the character and the actress, but that’s another story for another day.

I have met a few people in my small town, but not anyone to really do things with. Shopping? We have a grocery store, Wal-Mart, a Dollar General and a Pharmacy. I make purchases at all of these, but it’s not really shopping, more like, “what do we need this week?”

In the Empty Nest episode the neighbor asks her husband to stop working so much and pay more attention to her. She doesn’t seem pushy or needy, she just doesn’t have anyone that needs her. I, fortunately, don’t have that feeling. Yes, my husband works 60+ hours a week, but I know that he needs me and I need him. We compliment each other and have a very traditional marriage. We both work, it’s just that I work at home.

I suppose that I said all of that to say this, I love my husband and would follow him anywhere. I know that my children are grown and the fact that they don’t need me tells me that I have done a good job to raise hard-working, productive citizens.  There are days that I wish they needed me and if they ever do, I will drop everything and be there.

Life isn’t always a circus and at times we all feel unwanted or unneeded. It’s during those times that we need to look at the things/people that we truly love. Is the person you are with worth joining the circus? Are you stuck in your comfort zone or are you outside of it just enough to make everyday things seem special?

Until Next Time….Thank You for Being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have a coffee mug, a gift from my brother, that says “Live like Rose, Love like Blanche, Think like Dorothy and Speak like Sophia.  I love this mug, use it often.

While drinking my coffee this morning, I began thinking about what it means. Is it just a silly saying on a mug? Does it have a deeper meaning that only a fan of the Girls can understand? No and no, I don’t think it’s silly, and it probably doesn’t have any deep profound answers to life.  But, it did provoke some thought.

It made me think about all the silly Facebook  quizzes “Which Golden Girl are you?” I take these quizzes and as a fan can often manipulate the answers to get the answer that I want. But the mug says to be like all of the girls. This got me to thinking that there is a little of each of them in each of us.

Today, I’d like to explore the characters personalities and my own to discover just how there is a little bit of each one of them in me.

First, there is Rose. If you are an occasional watcher, you may think that living like Rose would not be such a good thing. She is often made fun of because of her outlandish stories and she seems not too smart. I think that she is smart but innocent, and not very worldly. She doesn’t have “street smarts” so to speak.  Living like Rose is really good advice. She is  happy, most of the time. She has a huge caring heart, is always working on a charity or volunteering for something.  She has a “me last” attitude, unless there is a competition. Rose hates to lose and will go to great lengths to win, whether it be bowling or getting an award she always fights to be the winner. Explaining to Dorothy her competitiveness she said that she had to change high schools due to a field hockey incident.

Oh Blanche! She loves being in love. To “love like Blanche” may seem a bit odd because she is quite promiscuous. She revealed once that she has had 143 relationships. I am sure that no one really wants to have that on their record. I think that to love like Blanche is really telling us to love life, take chances and have confidence in ourselves. Blanche is mostly in love with Blanche, but she is able to love others unconditionally.  She gives her opinion wholeheartedly when she disagrees or just doesn’t understand. She is accepting of others even if she can’t accept their choices or lifestyle. Blanche can be very extravagant, she loves expensive things and truly believes that she deserves them. Rose once lost her job, was worried and Blanches response was ” I’m glad I had the foresight to marry money”.

To think like Dorothy is pretty sound advice. She is often the voice of reason. She is constantly trying to absorb more knowledge, whether it be to audition for Jeopardy, learn a foreign language to get a raise in her paycheck. Dorothy thinks out her problems and often helps Rose and Blanche when they dive head first into a sticky situation.  Having book smarts doesn’t always equate no problems. She has her share of them. Sometimes it takes the simple, caring, loving minds of the others to help her through.  Even though she is probably the most intelligent of the group, she often feels like the big loser, having been divorced and not financially stable. Dorothy is very practical and is not a risk taker. Every day and every penny spent is planned.

Sophia, Sophia, Sophia! I think that deep inside we all wish that we could speak like Sophia.  She is blunt, sarcastic and very wise. I think that her wisdom comes from the fact that she is much older than the others, or maybe she just makes it up and they buy it! The stories that she tells always have a message and in the words of Rose that message is; “Hidden deep, deep, deep inside”. There isn’t always a message, sometimes she just makes it up, but when the others call her out on a tall tale she says, “So what, I’m old, I’m suppose to be colorful”.  She often gives the other girls some good advice. My favorite is when she gives Dorothy a talk about anger. She says “Anger is a lot like a piece of Shredded Wheat stuck in your dentures. If you leave it there, you’ll get a blister and have to eat Jello all week.  if you get it out, the sore heals and you’ll feel better”.

Well, that’s my take on the personalities of the Girls. I am sure that there is much more to their characters, but for todays purposes and to not have an incredibly long post I only talked about the obvious traits of each.  I also like short because my attention span is short and I really don’t like typing, but I digress…

Call it good writing, good acting or just plain ‘ol human nature to have innocence, passion, intelligence and  a colorful personality all rolled into one.  I like to imagine what each of the Girls were like when they were younger. I am sure that, like most of us, they too have each of these traits. I think that as we age, experience life and meet new challenges we find that there is a little of each of the Girls in all of us, although one trait always outweighs the others.

When I watch the Girls I often see myself in Rose. I am very competitive and love to win. I can get pretty grouchy if I lose. That is not the part of Rose that I want to have. I would love to have her innocence and her heart for charity. ( I’m working on that). I would love to have the confidence of Blanche. She is usually the center of attention and as is never afraid of self compliments!  I am probably more like Dorothy, if truth be told. I can be very ridged in my ways and don’t like the whole “fly by the seat of your pant’s thing.”  I like to read and am very content being alone.   When I am old, I want to be like Sophia. I want to be able to share my life experiences in a colorful way to maybe teach a lesson and at the very least put a smile on someone’s face.

Until next time…Thank You for Being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

 

 

 

I often just pop in a DVD and mindlessly watch the Girls while I iron or do housework, but this week in honor of father’s day I purposely watched episodes about fatherhood. The girls often had stories about their fathers and the fathers of their children. Blanches’  stories about “Big Daddy” always painted him as a very strong, intelligent man who was respected by all. Sometimes, his faults crept in, but she was always able to overlook them because she loved him so much.

I think that we all do that. If we really love someone we are able to overlook the little things and praise them for the good that they bring to our lives. Being a good father often makes up for little things like leaving the seat up or missing the anniversary of when you bought the new sofa ( yes, women remember these things and men often don’t care).

In the episode when Big Daddy passes away, Blanche is so busy preparing to be the Queen of the Citrus Festival Ball that she neglects to go to him in his final hours.  She is wracked with guilt and it causes a rift between her and her sister.  On the surface it seemed that she was just being selfish and didn’t want to interrupt her life to visit him, but I think that it was much more than that. I think that it was something that we all do and that is to take our fathers for granted, thinking that they will always be there for us. It’s hard to face death, especially the death of a parent.

Things happen to other people’s fathers, but not ours. I always thought of my father in that light, that he would live forever. Well, life is not like that. My father passed away twenty years ago. I often think of him and the time that we spent together. I was fortunate to live close and enjoy lots of time with him just talking and drinking coffee.  I love my family and when we all would get together, but my mornings, one on one with my dad will always be my favorite memories.

My dad was a police office and he often seemed larger than life to me as a child. Getting to know him as an adult was amazing. I found out that he was just a man who loved his family and tried his best to provide for them and guide them into being good adults.

I, fortunately had a job that started in late morning. I would drop off the kids at the sitter and go have coffee with my dad. My mom would sometimes join us, but often it was just him and me sitting on the deck. I remember him sitting on the steps. Not sure why he did this, the chairs were perfectly comfortable, but in the mornings he would sit on the step. I’d pull a chair up and we’d talk. I don’t remember all of our conversations, but I do remember that no matter how my morning started, he always made me happy.

In one episode of the Girls, Dorothy begins writing a letter to her father. He had been gone for over 25 years, but she felt the need to write down all the things that she wished she had said or had asked him. One regret that I do have is that I didn’t ask my dad more questions. I do know that he served in WWII, worked in a grocery store and built the house that I grew up in. He loved to fish and pretty much had my mom spoiled rotten.  I wish that I would have asked him about his experiences with all of these things. I would have asked him about his time during the war? how he learned to build an entire house?what their secret was to a long, loving marriage? why did he call my mom “puddin’? why he sat on the step?

If you are fortunate enough to have your father around as we celebrate Father’s day, give him a call or go visit him. Ask questions even if they seem silly at the time.  Write things down, take pictures and enjoy your time with him. We often forget that our fathers were once our age. They made mistakes and had triumphs; ask about them. Often these conversations are put on hold and are never had because of our busy lives.  Take a step back tomorrow and go see your dad.  It doesn’t matter if you talked to him yesterday or haven’t seen him in ten years, go visit or pick up the phone. Ask questions about his life or just say “I love you”.  Don’t wait until he’s gone to write a letter that will never be delivered.

Until Next Time….

Thank You For Being a Friend

MLG