I was watching the girls last night and it was an episode about dogs. Dorothy said that she hated dogs and Rose found that hard to believe. Come to find out Dorothy had a dog once and after losing him couldn’t bear to get another. This episode got me to thinking about the dogs I have had throughout my life.

Growing up I had a dog, his name was Precious. His mom was Spot. I don’t remember Spot too much, Precious was born when I was about two or three. There were other dogs in the litter, one was blind and one was deaf. A lady that handled handicapped dogs took the blind one. We kept the deaf one and named him Bandit. He did very well in spite of his handicap. I am not sure what ever happened to him, but we had precious for many years.

Precious was an outside dog. My mom said that she didn’t want a dog in the house, but often he was allowed in the basement if it was too hot or too cold outside. I know that my mom loved this dog, I remember coming home from school and seeing Precious peering out the front window. I think he secretly spent more time in the house with her than we will ever know.

I came home after having moved out and Precious was gone. He was old and slow. I am not sure what happened to him. My mom seemed sad, but I don’t remember discussing it.

When my children were small we had a few dogs, a black lab named Whitney and a chocolate lab named Cocoa. Whitney was killed by a car and we had to give Cocoa away because we just weren’t good dog people. It was at this point that, like Dorothy, I declared that I didn’t like dogs.

I remember rolling my eyes at work when there would be a card passed around if someone lost a pet or not joining in if someone brought their dog to the office. Yes, I’d sign the card and yes I’d sometimes go pet the dog because deep down I really do love dogs.

I finally broke down and got another dog, a beagle named Henry. He was cute and I spoiled him. I didn’t know how to train a pet and it was a disaster. He was not well behaved, ate everything in sight and eventually he got very mean. Henry, sadly, had to be put down.

That was it for me… No more dogs…

Fast forward a few years and my son asked if we could have another dog. I initially said no, I just didn’t think that we had time for a pet and I didn’t want a repeat of Henry. This did not stop my son from his search. He sent me pictures from the local pound nearly every day. I had an excuse for each one, until I saw our Cooper. Oh, was he cute! He looked pretty rough and very sad. We both instantly fell in love with him.

My son went to the pound to adopt him and promised that he would be the main caretaker. I was working two jobs at the time so that had to be the deal. He held up his end of the deal very well until about 7 months later.

My son took a job in another city and insisted that he couldn’t take Cooper. My life was also changing. I had met the man of my dreams and we were to be married. Marrying him meant that I also had to move, not only move, but live on the road in and out of hotels. What to do with Cooper? I really didn’t want to have to travel with a pet, but I had grown very attached to him.

The first stop on our new life was dropping all of my belongings at my new husbands home. We got everything moved in and were off to Texas. Before we ever left town, Cooper escaped from my car twice. I was thinking that we may have to just leave him behind. We eventually found him and our long drive began.

Now it’s seven years later, Cooper survived all of the long car rides and living in different places. He was such a good traveling companion. I no longer travel with my husband and Cooper gets to spend his days at home lounging on one of his many blankets or playing outside in the yard that we had fenced especially for him.

I guess that I really do have “dog love in my eyes”, I just had to get the right dog for me. I so enjoy the unconditional love that Cooper gives. After being at work all day, or just running to the grocery, he always comes running as if I had been gone for days. I especially enjoy his reaction when my husband arrives after being gone for several weeks. I am sure that all dogs are the same and we all think that ours is special and they are. I’m not sure if I’ll ever have another pet after Cooper leaves this world, but right now I am enjoying every minute of the joy that he brings to our lives.

Until Next Time

Thank You for Being a Friend!

MG

If you follow my blog or know me in real life, you know that I watch the Golden Girls every evening before bed. If you only follow my blog you may not know that I also love politics and public service. I love election years, whether it be a big election like the one next week or just a local election.

Last night I was in the middle of season 3 and watched the episode Strange Bedfellows . In this episode the girls decide to get involved in the campaign of a local city councilman. It’s a pretty funny episode and really has not a lot to do with politics, but it brought me to todays topic.

I have always been interested in the political process since I took a political science class in high school. I love the fact that I live in America and we have the freedom to vote. I also like our Founding Fathers idea of the electoral college to ensure that all states are represented and not just the densely populated ones.

I never really acted on any political involvement until recently when I ran for city council. It wasn’t much of a campaign; I won, but not because my stellar personality or promises to the city, it was simply because I was unopposed, there was low voter turnout and quite frankly in a town this small no one really thinks of the city council unless they have a problem, but I digress…

Early in October I was asked by a friend if I might be interested in helping out at the County Clerks office during the election. I jumped at the chance. I really wanted to see how an election was run and was excited to see all of the “behind the scenes” stuff. Well, let me tell you there is a lot of behind the scenes stuff that is less than glamorous.

I am not sure if it because of COVID-19, the high stakes of the current election, or if it’s just business as usual; but the ladies in that office are working hard, long hours. They must all think that I am a nut for being so interested and excited about the election. I am so happy every day to go in their office and see how it all works. There are absentee ballots to be issued, some have to come back notarized and other don’t. Once returned they are received, envelopes (still sealed) are stamped and put in a locked box. There are registrations to process, phone calls to answer and all the while people are coming in to absentee vote for various reasons. Our state doesn’t have early voting, but you can vote early if you have a valid reason…. I know, confusing, but it works and our citizens seem to understand it.

While all of this is happening, this office is also responsible for payroll and billing for the county…whew… did I say that these ladies work hard?

In come the temps! One other lady and I were hired to help alleviate a little of the added pressure from the election. I don’t think they have needed anyone before, but this is 2020 and if it has never happened before, it’s happening now! There is so much extra this year. More projected voter turnout, more absentee voting, more poll workers, more pens, more training, more cleaning and cleaning items. Social distancing protocols, hand sanitizing, Plexiglas shields, did I mention more pens?….. so much more of just everything. Yes, I mentioned pens twice; one of my “exciting” election jobs was to count pens for the 19 polling stations in our county. I think I counted pens that night in my sleep.

In spite of the busyness of the office and all of the added precautions, I have actually been enjoying it. Yes, when I get home I am beat and really don’t want to see a tablet or a phone. Yes, the days have been hectic and I often get a question that I can’t answer because I am just a temp and yes, my pup is really hating that I don’t come home for lunch. But when all is said and done, I just love this stuff!

I am really looking forward to the last day of absentee voting and also to Election day! They are going to be a couple of very long days, but I think that my adrenalin will keep me going.

I may never have the opportunity to work another election, unless I decide to be a poll worker. I am soaking in all of the knowledge that I can. I have a better idea now of all it takes to makes your voting process go smoothly and fairly. So the next time there is “just a local election” take the time to vote. The county clerk is an elected position and I guarantee that they work hard for you. There is often a R or a D behind their name, but I can assure you, at least in my county, that the office is ran with no political bias. Everyone that darkens the doorway is greeted and treated with the same respect .

My time in this office will end in one week, but I will always remember the way they welcomed me and taught me the ropes. Not one treated us as temps or outsiders. Very kind and very professional and I hope that if they ever need a little help again that they know that they can call on me.

One last thing… get out and VOTE!!!

Until Next Time

Thank you for Being a Friend

MLG

Last night after attending a sorority meeting, I turned on the Golden Girls as I usually do at bed time and I watched a Christmas episode. The girls were planning to “go home” for the Holidays. As is typical in most sitcoms their plans were derailed. They ended up in a diner on Christmas eve, sad that they couldn’t be with family. As they drank their coffee and told stories, they realized that they were with family. Even though they weren’t blood related, except for Dorothy and Sophia, they share their lives together and have become sisters.

Why did this episode spark my desire to write? Well, while at my meeting, the theme for the upcoming year was revealed.  It is ” Sisters by Choice”.  I admit that I have only been part of the group for a short while, but these women do seem like sisters to me and I always look forward to spending time with them.

In the past, when I first moved to my new hometown, I was always looking for reasons to ” go home”.  This week my husband is working in my hometown. I had the opportunity to go with him and see my family and friends, but I chose not to go. I had many reasons. I had sorority last night, had to vote today and a couple of other things going on this week.

I very well could have voted early and rearranged some thing, but the real reason that I stayed home was to see my “sisters”.  I absolutely love them.  No, we are not all best friends, we have some very different interests and world views, but when we  get together it does seem like family. I admit, being a newcomer to this town and to this group I don’t get most of the inside jokes or know every person, street or event discussed, but they make me feel very welcome. Every time that we get together I get a new memory and get to know another person a little better.

I am not sure if I will ever get close to any one of them in the way that the Girls in the show had become, but its just nice being a part of something. It took me six years, but I finally feel that this is my home. They say (whoever they are) that “home is where your heart is”. I love my family “back home”, but I also feel that I have a new family here. My heart is here and they are my sisters, not by blood but by choice!  Since being a part of the group this is the third theme. I honestly couldn’t tell you the others, but the one for next year just really stands out for me. “Sisters by Choice” for me is more than three words on a button or t-shirt. It’s about choosing who you want in your life and the amazing feeling that they chose you.

Yesterday I wrote a repeat about feminism. I guess in my subconscious it is a topic near and dear to my heart. After posting it, I spent the afternoon watching the Girls. I know that is nothing new for me. I love watching them and I love being home, but yesterday was different. I was home because I had to be not because I wanted to be.

I really didn’t glean as much from the show as I usually do. There was never an episode about a pandemic or anything that required them to stay home for an extended period of time. There was one episode where all three of the girls had the flu and couldn’t go anywhere for a week. I guess that is as close as I’ll get to tying this post to the show.

In that episode they were cooped up in the house and were really getting on each others nerves. I can imagine that after weeks of being told to stay in the house, many families will experience too much togetherness causing short tempers and few arguments. I am hoping that isn’t the case for the families that are together for the duration of this crisis.

As much as we all hate this virus that is causing us to be sequestered from the world, I am hoping that it will slow us down and make us appreciate things.  There is cause to be concerned. Some are losing pay, missing important events and parents are being thrown into home schooling all the while either trying to do their jobs from home or burdened with the worry of being off work with no pay.

I pray daily for our country and for the world. I pray for our leaders and for those on the front line. The doctors, nurses, grocery and restaurant workers, truck drivers and many others that don’t get the opportunity to just stay home.

We have seen the gambit of reactions to this pandemic. The grocery stores are barren due to panic buying. Some are wearing masks and staying locked in their homes. Others are giving complete disregard to the suggestions to stay home.

We live in the greatest, most free nation in the world and now we are seeing things that most of us have never had to experience. Churches, movie theaters, and restaurants have closed their doors. Visiting grandparents or friends has become forbidden.

My hope is that when all of this is over that we will have become better people. I wonder if there will be more smiles, more handshakes, more doors being held for a stranger? Will we have more intentional celebrations where we put down our phones and actually talk to each other? Will we not take for granted that there will always be milk at the store? Will we be a little nicer to checker at the store or the janitor at our school?

I pray that the answer to these questions is “yes”. I pray that this isolation from each other will not break our spirits, but give us time to reflect on just how busy and disconnected we had become even before this world crisis. When this is over I hope that we crave human interaction so much that we call a friend and invite them to lunch or coffee right now rather than just shooting a text and say lets get together soon.

I know that this is a scary time, but it doesn’t have to be. If you are still healthy, thank God for that and use this time to think about how this will change you. After the tragic events of 9-11, we saw our country grow closer and stronger. Out of the ashes came greatness, unity and faith. Sometime between then and now we lost that. I think that we can get it back. I know that this is a worldwide crisis, but the United States is an exceptional country and we will come out on the other side stronger than ever before. We will once again rise from the ashes and appreciate this great country that we live in. Hopefully we will never again take for granted our families, our friends or the strangers that we meet who do the jobs that kept us going through this crisis.

May God bless us all.

This has rambled a bit, for that I apologize. I just wanted to share some early morning thoughts.

Thank you for being a friend

MG

 

 

 

 

In the past, being a feminist meant equal rights for men and women. I understood it to stand for equal opportunity, being strong in the workplace and self sufficient all the while still celebrating being feminine. Todays feminists seem to be all about hating men.

The Golden Girls had several episodes about being strong women.  The girls are doing fine as singles, but still find the need for men in their lives. In one episode Dorothy and Rose decide, after seeing the cost estimates, to install a toilet. The plumber that delivers the toilet tells them that they can’t do it. He says ” you need training, experience…you have to be a man!” He stated ” you’re  going through your feminist stage awfully late in life.”  Being from a different generation, Sophia agrees with the plumber.

Thinking about that episode and others that involve jobs, artificial insemination, remodeling the garage and voting I see how feminism has changed over the years and can honestly say that by todays standards I am not a feminist.

Yes, I believe in equal rights. I believe that women should have an equal voice, but I also believe that God created men and women to compliment each other not to compete.

Watching the protests and such about job equality I often have to chuckle. Women today only seem to want equal job status if the job is in a nice office and they get to be the boss. I never see women lining up for other male dominated jobs such as construction, garbage men, mechanics, plumbers etc… Yes, there are women in these positions but I don’t see them being supported or even mentioned by the loudest pink hat wearing feminists.

What I like about watching the Girls over new shows about women is that they celebrate being strong, independent single women without vile language and man bashing. They often talk about the men in their lives while simultaneously supporting themselves and standing up for causes that they believe in.

Personally, I love having a man in my life, I always have. As Rose said in an episode about a burglary, ” It’s better with men, not once when I was with Charlie did I get robbed or murdered.” Dorothy, of course,  disagrees with her saying that you could have easily been robbed or murdered with Charles in the house. Yes, she is right, but I have to agree with Rose on this one. I do feel safer with my husband in the house.

Regardless of what the modern feminists say, men and women are wired differently. Not all men, but most that I know, are natural protectors and they tend to think more logically under pressure. Yes, there are women that are calm in stressful situations, I tend to be one. I don’t panic, but I sure do chew my lip and silently worry.

No, this post is not being written to bash feminists or women that are happy without a man in their life. I am just not one of those women. I love having an “old fashioned marriage”. I enjoy the fact that my husband opens my car door, lets me go first and always helps with heavy lifting and such.  He leaves every week to a job that entails long hours, eating cold sandwiches in the truck and sleeping alone in hotels.  It’s not the most glamorous job, but it pays the bills and affords me the ability to stay home.  I enjoy staying home and I keep things running here, so that his time off is just that “time off”.

I am sure that there are many that disagree with my thinking. I always hear women bashing their husbands. I find that a bit odd. Why did you marry him if he’s so awful? I really don’t even get it when some bash their ex’s. Just get over it and on with it.  I read once that the opposite of love is indifference. If you spend time hating someone, you still have feelings for them and that takes time away from loving those currently in your life. It can also give you peace of mind and maybe get rid of some stress. I have tried, since divorcing my first husband, to never speak badly of him, especially around my children. He is actually a nice person. We had some differences, are no longer together and I think that we are both happier now. The fact that we share three very outstanding children and a grandchild is enough to say that it was a good chapter in my life, but one that is closed…but I digress

Now, back to feminism. I can proudly say that I am not one. Yes, I am thankful to the suffragettes that fought for my right to vote and for the women that forged a path for women in the military and to those that demanded “equal pay for equal work”.  But, all in all I love being “just a housewife”. I enjoy the fact that I was given the opportunity to go to college and work outside of the home and drive a car. My mother didn’t go past the 10th grade and didn’t drive until after she was married and had children. It was a different place and time and I am sure that I wouldn’t have liked it. As the Virginia Slims ad used to say ” You’ve come a long way baby”.  Yes, we have come a long way, but, for me, I’ve come far enough. I don’t need to wear a pink hat, use curse words or show my breasts to prove that I am a strong woman.

Thanks for listening!

Thank You for Being a Friend

MG

 

 

 

I love the clothes that the Girls wore on the show, from the beautiful negligee’s that Blanche wore around the house to the vibrant colored, shoulder padded outfits of Dorothy. It was the end of an era when people “dressed” for occasions and special events. Nowadays you see blue jeans, yoga pants and shorts everywhere from the office to church services.

Our society has become very lack in what is considered acceptable appearance.  It’s called everything from comfort to sporty to business causal. To me it’s seems like laziness, not being judgmental because I am also guilty of this lackadaisical approach to clothing. I remember when my top drawer had several pairs of pantyhose, camisoles, and trouser socks. Accessorizing was also very important. Belts and handbags matched your shoes and everyone had a “dress” watch.

As I watch the Girls, I long for the days of “dressing up” . Even at house parties the ladies wore dresses and the men wore suits and ties or at least slacks and a sport jacket.  Earrings were always on and hair and makeup was always in place. I know what your thinking, “It’s a TV show”. True as that may be, I do remember when going to church, a wedding, a funeral,  or a job interview involved choosing just the right outfit. Just going shopping or to a doctor’s appointment required a certain amount of makeup and not wearing what I call “around the house clothes”. I go into stores today and see everything imaginable. We’ve all seen the memes and videos of oddly clad people in the Wal-Mart. We laugh and shake our heads, but in reality carelessly dressed people are all around us.

When I was still in the workforce full time I would get to work early, grab my coffee and sit outside. I would watch the people as they walked into the building.  There were those that were always put together with the right shoes and a hair never out of place and then there were others… lets just say “Bless their heart!”

Many of the departments in my office building had dress codes, some more strict than others. Some would push the rules to the limit and it was often just a big ‘ol mess! One that we had was nothing with spaghetti straps. How to get around that and still wear your cute summer dress? One girls answer was to put on a ribbed tank top under her dress. Not a snappy look. I always had the urge to take her a cardigan and say ” Here, try this!”

I recently started a part time job. It’s in an office and everyone is dressed nicely.  I was never told the dress code, but I think the vibe is business casual. Once again, some push it to the limit. Because I have a closet full of “office clothes” that haven’t been worn in several years, and a few new pieces that have been waiting for job interviews, I usually feel overdressed.  Not that my clothes are expensive or fancy, I just tend to often wear dresses or skirts with the occasional slacks/sweater combination. I like to have my hair and makeup just right too.  I am sure that, unfortunately, as time goes by and I get more comfortable with my workmates, I too will wear my capris with a nice top with my boat shoes. I don’t find anything wrong with a relaxed dress code, It actually can make for a better work environment. But, like I said above, I long for the days when people “dressed up” for things.

My husband works in the oil industry,  he’s not a suit and tie guy, but a blue jean and hard hat guy. Nonetheless, I iron his shirts and jeans every week. He often gets compliments and sometimes teased that his clothes are always so nice.  I think that it’s important to look your best no matter your job or position. I think that it makes him happy and in my opinion, he looks great and very professional.

You don’t have to be what society considers a “professional” like a doctor. teacher or a lawyer to be professional.  From the custodian to the CEO being professional is not about your title or even your clothes, it’s about doing the job that you have with pride. Pride in your appearance and in your work. My son in laws father often sent his kids off with this saying ” Impress somebody”.  I love that! I often wish that I had said it to mine. My kids are amazing, have good work ethics and they all dress pretty well, ( I threw that in because this post is kind of about looking good!). To give your children that little shot of confidence each day is a pretty darn good parenting skill. I am sure that he wasn’t talking so much about their appearance, but their attitude and abilities.  I think that it all goes hand in hand. My grandson got that piece of advice on his first day of kindergarten. It must have worked, he came home happy, had a couple of new friends and was ready to go back the next day!

I know,  I started out talking about pantyhose and padded shoulders, but somehow segued to work ethics and being kind. I guess that, in a nutshell, if you look good, you feel good. To coin a phrase ” Dress for Success”,  you can impress somebody even if you never open your mouth.

So, the next time you leave your house, tell yourself to impress somebody! It’s a great little reminder to always look your best. It’s not totally about what your wearing, but a reminder to not get lazy in the daily grind and to always look for opportunities to not only advance your own skills but to help another person along the way. If you see someone that impresses you, tell them. A little compliment goes a long way!

Until Next Time

Thank You for Being a Friend!

MG

 

A year ago I wrote about making friends and how I struggled with it. After watching The Girls last night I decided to reread that post and boy was I a negative Nelly. I wanted to be proactive about meeting people, but living in a hotel for nearly a year it was hard to really get to know people.

The episode that I watched last night was about Sophia struggling to make friends. Being a woman of advanced age all of her friends were either going into retirement homes, moving to be closer to family or dying, she just sat home feeling sorry for herself. Dorothy, feeling guilty, invites her to spend time with her and her new boyfriend. After several weeks it causes a breakup. Dorothy is left alone while Sophia goes out and actively searches for new friends and they invite her to a long weekend in Cancun.  Not a happy ending for all, but, in the words of Sophia,  “An ending is an ending!”

I haven’t traveled with my husband for about six months now.  It has been nice being home. A few months ago I decided to be proactive in making friends. I joined a local group. It’s actually a sorority. Upon hearing the word sorority my husband asked, “Do they have a secret handshake?” the answer “Yes they do.” They also have pledges, rituals, officers, secret sisters, matching t-shirts, committees and lots of food! but… I digress…

I am so happy that I decided to step out of my comfort zone and meet people. I haven’t made any deep friendships yet, but I do enjoy being a part of the group. I am not privy to many of the inside jokes or all of the “remember whens” but as I listen to them I see real joy and genuine friendships. That alone does my heart good and makes me not feel so lonely when I am home alone.

Having lived most of my life in one town, I never thought that I would ever call another place home. I have lived in my current town for five years and have only felt that it is home in the past few months. I only see the ladies in the club twice a month and they take the summer off. Even so, it’s nice to know that you have a few friends where you live.

I am looking forward to the fall when I “drink the Kool-Aid” as our president says, and become an official member. It’s hard to make new friends, especially at my age and in a new town. Like most towns, many have spent their lives here or have moved away and come back. When you are an outsider it’s a struggle to be accepted. It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just human nature to be drawn to those you are most comfortable with and share a history.  I will say, however, I do really like the group of ladies that I have met. They have been so nice and so inviting.  Even though I don’t share a long history with them, they have really made me feel welcome. Some have made a point to clue me in on some of the background when a remember when… or a joke is told.  I appreciate that.

All of the nice ladies that I have recently met and the few that I met when I first moved here ( That’s another story) make me think of an episode of The Girls  when Dorothy makes friends with a local author who is is a terrible person that doesn’t like Blanche or Rose. This puts Dorothy in a difficult position because, although she shares more in common with the new friend she has a deep and real friendship with the others.   It makes me wonder when I lived in my hometown did I treat outsiders or newcomers with the same kindness that I have been recently shown or did I just keep my circle closed because it was comfortable?  I think I did a little of both. Remember the saying from Girl Scouts, ” Make new friends, but keep the old…” .  I have friends in my hometown from grade school and friends that I met just before leaving.

Leaving your hometown in your 20’s seems exciting and new (climb aboard we’re expecting you!) HA! Did You sing it?  Anywho, leaving home in your 50’s is just plain scary, you’re leaving pretty much everything that you have ever know and have always taken for granted. For those of you who follow me or know me well, my leaving was a very abrupt whirlwind.  I love my husband and would follow him anywhere. When I first left it was a bit exciting, but at the same time very hard to leave family, friends, my job and a brand new grandson.

I think about making big moves, especially when you’re older, to be like standing at home plate, bat in hand and a curveball is coming at you.  You have a few choices to make. One is pretty easy, stand there and hope it’s called a ball so that you can just walk through life. The other is to swing  your hardest. When you swing, you either get a hit or a strike, ( I know you could foul, but let’s keep it simple!) My point is that when faced with choices, we need to take a chance and hopefully if we choose to swing we’ll knock it out of the park. I sure did! Life is so good.

Although it was very frightening to leave my hometown and it’s taken me five years to meet new people, I am happy to say that this is now my hometown. I am looking forward to creating new friendships with solid bonds. I, like Sophia, joined a group and made new friends. It is easy to just sit home and feel sorry for myself, but taking the easy route is not only sad but very unhealthy, mentally and physically.

I am glad to have made a few new friends and hopefully I now have the courage to go make some more. Who knows someone might invite me to a weekend in Cancun!

Until Next Time,

Thank You For Being A Friend

MLG

 

Every year, as soon as the holidays are over the commercials for weight loss, gym memberships, and home workout equipment begin.  Sprinkle in the ones for vacations and cruises while you’re putting on your snow boots and yet another “big sweater” and you start to  seriously think about weight loss, swimsuits and sailing the high seas. Even if you don’t sit and watch the commercials, they do work; which reminds me of a great quote by Jerry Seinfeld, ” Who are the ad wizards that come up with these things?”

In several episodes the Girls sit in the kitchen contemplating ways to make themselves look better or feel better for an upcoming event. My favorite episode is when they are invited to a friends annual swim party.  While Sophia is baking a cake to gain back the one pound that she lost, the girls reminisce about the many ways that they tried to improve their appearances.  In the end, they eat the cake because Rose reveals that the party has been set back a day, leaving them to worry about dieting tomorrow.

Oh tomorrow! It’s always the best time to start a diet. We all know the old saying ” Why put off for tomorrow what we can do today.” Although it rings true and has some wisdom behind it, I feel that tomorrow is very important when dieting. If we stumble today, we always have tomorrow. I am not saying that we should put everything off, just that one little stumble doesn’t mean that we should give up and throw in the towel.

Many times I have given up. If I over-ate I would sometimes just throw away the entire week and make a self promise to start over “on Monday”. Why not tomorrow? My failures usually happened mid-week and Monday was so far away. It was like giving myself permission to just eat my way through the weekend.

I have never been a skinny person and I never will be. I just want to be healthy and to like what I see in the mirror. Sometimes what we see in the mirror has nothing to do with diet or exercise. It has to do with happiness. Does your self-image make you smile?

I, at times, struggle with my self-image.  Some days you just feel ugly, other days you feel great. Do you ever have those days when your hair does exactly what you want it to? I do and it’s often after weeks of hating it and I just made that “cut it all off” appointment. The appointment gets canceled and the next day is…well.. a bad hair day!

Jumping from dieting to a bad hair day may seem like a big leap, but really it’s not. Everything about our outward appearance affects our inner self. I am not saying that one only feels good if they are beautiful and perfectly put together. Sometimes I feel my best when I’m in my comfy clothes, with no make up and a pony tail. It has been in those moments that I catch my husband looking at me. In my mind he’s thinking, ” Please go fix yourself up”. But his eyes say something different, they say ” I love you just like that”. This is not to say walk around like a slob because he’ll love you anyway. It’s just an example that you are beautiful to those that love you whether you are in full make up and high heels or your oldest, rattyist bathrobe looking like you need an IV of caffeine.

I have found that the best path to looking great and feeling great is to take care of ourselves both physically and mentally.  You don’t have to be skinny, wear expensive clothes or have a face that is blemish and wrinkle free.  You just have to be comfortable being you.  It took me many years to figure this out. Yes, I still fret occasionally about being a little heavy or having gray hair and wrinkles, but I have found that those things really don’t matter too much.  I’ll never be 25 again and I have learned to embrace and love my older self.  To quote Blanche ” I can live with the wrinkles and the sagging as long as I have you girls to grow old with.”  She goes on to turn the compliment into a slam but I digress…

The point of all my ramblings is that as long as we surround ourselves with family and friends that love us we will feel good. We need to stop being so caught up in attaining things that we don’t need just to make us happy.  When your feet hit the floor in the morning, you and only you can decide what kind of day it’s going to be.

Yes there are outside forces that we have no control over. The key is how you handle it. There will still be bad hair days and times that we open our closet and nothing fits. There will be last-minute meetings, cancellations and there are people out there that want to tear you down or really just don’t like you.  Your attitude toward these things is what makes a difference.

Be happy with yourself.  Don’t give up if you’re dieting,  don’t toss out all of your make up and please don’t just whack your hair off in the bathroom! Being happy  with your present self, doesn’t mean that there is no room for change.  It simply means to not be so rough on yourself.  So pull up your pony tail, squeeze into that skirt and face the day with your head held high!  If you stumble today, there is always tomorrow!

Until Next Time…

Thank You for Being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy New Year!  I haven’t written much in the past several months and I really have no excuse. I haven’t been particularly busy, no major events, just life as normal. I am hoping that writing on New Years Day will set precedence for my year.  According to Blanche it works with a kiss! She tells Rose that a New Years Eve kiss sets the tone for the next 365 days. So today, rather than make resolutions, I am going to try to set the stage for things that I want to do in 2019.

I know, it sounds like hocus pocus and it probably is. I am well aware that sitting here today is not going to magically make me write better and more often. I do know that by sitting here I am avoiding the huge pile of dirty glasses, serving plates and crock pots sitting on my counter. and the Christmas decorations that need taken down.

In my mind, sitting here plinking on the keyboard, my vision is that I am making  good vibes and my creative juices will overflow for the new year. In reality, I am starting my year with avoidance and procrastination, hence the dirty dishes. So, if Blanches theory is true and new years eve/day set the tone for the year…I am already doomed.

I don’t make resolutions. I read somewhere the other day that something like 11% of people make resolutions and 87% of them don’t keep them past February. (Those numbers may be totally wrong, just some thing I heard, so please no data police.)

At this point you may be asking, “What does any of this have to do with the Golden Girls?”  I promise, I’ll get there! I apologize for the above rambling, but when I opened my website today, I realized that it’s been a long while since I have written, so I had to get some things written down.  I feel better now that I have given my self a disclaimer and set a new goal for the coming year. So… here we go!

I woke up this morning, got my coffee and realized that I have watched only three episodes of the Girls since the beginning of November. I may not have watched those but there was a trivia contest in a GG fan group on the Facebook.  It was a fun contest, good questions all about the two Christmas episodes and the one episode that had a short NYE skit. Never competed in a live, online contest. It was a bit difficult for this old gal, but my love of the Girls prevailed and I won!  I received 33 of 36 possible points. The questions that I missed, I didn’t miss at all, I was just slow to typing my answer. It was a very fun evening hanging out with people who I don’t know but share the common bond of GG love and useless trivia about an 80’s sitcom.

Sometimes on Facebook quizzes, in trivia books, or in one of my fan based groups the question comes up “what GG are you?” You have to either guess, which is usually based simply on who you like the best and want to be like, or there is a series of questions and the magic of science ( I use the term lightly) tells you which one you are most like.  When I just get to guess, I often pick Rose or Sophia. I like to think that I am nice and kind, like Rose, but with the wisdom and sharp wit of Sophia.  When I take a quiz based on true and accurate personality traits. I stress true and accurate, because, well, people lie and these things can be manipulated, but I digress… In these types of quizzes, I always get Dorothy. She is my least favorite of the four, yet according to “science” and some people who know me best, she is my closest match.

I may have discussed this topic before, but it has really been on my mind of late so here we go again. First, why I don’t like Dorothy. She is a pretty much a negative Nelly. She is the only one of the four who is divorced.  Blanche often points this out to her. In an episode where they go for counseling she states that she is divorced and Blanche says    “I’m a widow, no man would leave me unless he absolutely had to.” This causes Dorothy to pass one of her famous faces of hate and dismay. Pay attention next time you watch, She does have some of the best expressions!

I too was divorced, and like Dorothy I am friends with my ex. Okay, he doesn’t drop by as often as Stan and we don’t talk regularly, but he is not a person that I despise.  Like Dorothy, I was the first in my family to graduate from college. When her children come to visit, she lets down her “strong woman” character and becomes a doting overprotective momma bear, something else that I do. She loves to work and likes to be involved with projects and committees. She often volunteers for things that get her in over her head. That is so me. I have lofty visions about things and then I either regret signing up or I just quit.  Not all things that I like to admit, but are some traits that I share with Dorothy.

In one episode Rose joins a self-help group to learn positive living. She asks the others to come to a meeting. Just by knowing the girls personalities, one would think that Dorothy would be the biggest naysayer, but she actually tries the positive thinking and is convinced that it is changing her life. She keeps a journal, gets good service at the butcher shop and sets out to find the perfect man. Blanche on the other hand calls the group ” a room full of grinning idiots.”

I suppose that I do like Dorothy, but it’s sometimes hard to see things in yourself that you don’t like. I want to be the fun-loving flirtatious Blanche or the Sophia that everyone comes to for advice, but I will never be that. I am 55 years old,  around the age that the girls were when the show was first aired. To me they are no longer just four older women, they are me. I guess I am a Golden Girl and like it or not, I am most like Dorothy and that probably won’t change.

In the final episode of the series, Dorothy finds true happiness with Blanches Uncle Lucas. They get married and live happily ever after. This is, again, where I am like Dorothy. I found my happily ever after when I remarried in 2014. So, as much as I hate it, being like Dorothy isn’t such a bad thing. It’s sad to leave your family and your best friends, but exciting to move on to new things and to be with someone who loves you  unconditionally, flaws and all.

Happy New Year!

Until Next Time… Thank You For Being a Friend

MLG

 

 

 

 

In the last season of the Golden Girls Blanche goes on a date with a man like she has never met before.  On their first date he makes her pay for her own meal and movie ticket, he didn’t open doors for her and just dropped her off in the driveway. This makes Blanche furious. When he shows up to explain he tells her that he has been reading up on what the modern woman wants and was just trying to treat her as an equal.

Blanche, not being much of a feminist, informed him that she didn’t want to be treated as an equal, she wanted to be treated better than him she wanted to be treated like a lady. She let him know that she expected him to open doors, pay for meals and put her on a pedestal.  There is more to the story, but this is the part that got me thinking about chivalry, feminism, glass ceilings and equality.

I, like Blanche, want to be treated better than just one of the guys. Several time throughout the series the girls talk about chivalry, flirting and being giddy over a man. I love that and it has been all but lost. It seems that nowadays if a man opens a door or pays a compliment to a woman he ends up either in human resources or is smeared to everyone he knows for being old-fashioned or rude.

I love it when a man opens a door, steps back on the elevator for me to go first, compliments me for the way I look or what I am wearing. There is nothing wrong with these things and some men of my generation still do them. I have found that many men of younger generations either ignore or have not been taught to do these things.

I believe in equality when it comes to voting or same pay for same work. I believe that if a woman chooses to work outside of the home that a man should help out around the house. I believe that a man can cook or do laundry and a woman can cut the grass or fix the toilet. Does this make me a feminist? I suppose it does if you look at it from a ’70’s point of view. Todays feminists are unrecognizable to me. They seem to hate men and I really don’t understand why. Todays feminists, to me, seem very angry and if there is a man in their life he walks two steps behind her.

In the past being a feminist meant equal rights for men and women. I understood it to stand for equal opportunity, being strong in the workplace and self-sufficient all the while still celebrating being feminine. Todays feminists seem to be all about hating men.

The Golden Girls had several episodes about being strong women.  The girls are doing fine as singles, but still find the need for men in their lives. In one episode Dorothy and Rose decide, after seeing the cost estimates, to install a toilet. The plumber that delivers the toilet tells them that they can’t do it. He says ” you need training, experience…you have to be a man!” He stated ” you’re  going through your feminist stage awfully late in life.”  Being from a different generation, Sophia agrees with the plumber.

Thinking about that episode and others that involve jobs, artificial insemination, remodeling the garage, and voting I see how feminism has changed over the years and can honestly say that by todays standards I am not a feminist. Yes, I believe in equal rights. I believe that women should have an equal voice, but I also believe that God created men and women to compliment each other not to compete.

One reason that I love the Girls so much, they are strong and independent but aren’t afraid to be sexy and sassy.  They enjoy being women and they love men that are men. They don’t tolerate a man who is abusive or disrespectful such as when Blanche’s daughter Rebecca brings home Jeremy. He was a big jerk and was constantly putting Rebecca down, criticizing her weight and her clothes. To salvage her relationship with her daughter, Blanche remains quite for a bit, but finally convinces her daughter that she is beautiful and important. She tells her that she doesn’t need to settle for a man who treats her that way. Blanche learns this lesson for herself when she dates a guy that is verbally abusive. Unlike some women of today, she doesn’t let the actions of one man taint her views of all men.

Chivalry isn’t dead, I just feel that it’s not being taught. Men that have been taught are sometimes afraid because women have become downright hateful.  I can’t imagine being offended because a man holds a door or insists that I go first.

Today I was watching the episode that initially lead to this post. Blanche ran out of gas and no one stopped to help her.  She comes in just devastated about it. She states, ” What ever happened to chivalry, when men tipped their hats, took your hand to help you down from your carriage, left calling cards at your door…”  Dorothy’s reply, ” How far back do you want to go Blanche, do you still want to vote?”

I don’t want to go back in time and I am thankful for those that stood up for my right to vote and be allowed to have all the same rights as a man. On the other hand, I love being a woman and agree with Blanche that I want to be treated better than how a man would treat a buddy. Yes, there are many that disagree with me and think that women are still oppressed. If you feel oppressed, do something about it other than blaming someone else.  Be proactive with your own situation instead of following the crowd to the streets to scream at the sky.

This post may have rambled and I am aware that my opinions differ from some, but that’s the beauty of equality and the first amendment. We live in a great country with all differing views and ideas.

Until Next Time…

Thank You for Being a Friend

MG