A year ago I wrote about making friends and how I struggled with it. After watching The Girls last night I decided to reread that post and boy was I a negative Nelly. I wanted to be proactive about meeting people, but living in a hotel for nearly a year it was hard to really get to know people.

The episode that I watched last night was about Sophia struggling to make friends. Being a woman of advanced age all of her friends were either going into retirement homes, moving to be closer to family or dying, she just sat home feeling sorry for herself. Dorothy, feeling guilty, invites her to spend time with her and her new boyfriend. After several weeks it causes a breakup. Dorothy is left alone while Sophia goes out and actively searches for new friends and they invite her to a long weekend in Cancun.  Not a happy ending for all, but, in the words of Sophia,  “An ending is an ending!”

I haven’t traveled with my husband for about six months now.  It has been nice being home. A few months ago I decided to be proactive in making friends. I joined a local group. It’s actually a sorority. Upon hearing the word sorority my husband asked, “Do they have a secret handshake?” the answer “Yes they do.” They also have pledges, rituals, officers, secret sisters, matching t-shirts, committees and lots of food! but… I digress…

I am so happy that I decided to step out of my comfort zone and meet people. I haven’t made any deep friendships yet, but I do enjoy being a part of the group. I am not privy to many of the inside jokes or all of the “remember whens” but as I listen to them I see real joy and genuine friendships. That alone does my heart good and makes me not feel so lonely when I am home alone.

Having lived most of my life in one town, I never thought that I would ever call another place home. I have lived in my current town for five years and have only felt that it is home in the past few months. I only see the ladies in the club twice a month and they take the summer off. Even so, it’s nice to know that you have a few friends where you live.

I am looking forward to the fall when I “drink the Kool-Aid” as our president says, and become an official member. It’s hard to make new friends, especially at my age and in a new town. Like most towns, many have spent their lives here or have moved away and come back. When you are an outsider it’s a struggle to be accepted. It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just human nature to be drawn to those you are most comfortable with and share a history.  I will say, however, I do really like the group of ladies that I have met. They have been so nice and so inviting.  Even though I don’t share a long history with them, they have really made me feel welcome. Some have made a point to clue me in on some of the background when a remember when… or a joke is told.  I appreciate that.

All of the nice ladies that I have recently met and the few that I met when I first moved here ( That’s another story) make me think of an episode of The Girls  when Dorothy makes friends with a local author who is is a terrible person that doesn’t like Blanche or Rose. This puts Dorothy in a difficult position because, although she shares more in common with the new friend she has a deep and real friendship with the others.   It makes me wonder when I lived in my hometown did I treat outsiders or newcomers with the same kindness that I have been recently shown or did I just keep my circle closed because it was comfortable?  I think I did a little of both. Remember the saying from Girl Scouts, ” Make new friends, but keep the old…” .  I have friends in my hometown from grade school and friends that I met just before leaving.

Leaving your hometown in your 20’s seems exciting and new (climb aboard we’re expecting you!) HA! Did You sing it?  Anywho, leaving home in your 50’s is just plain scary, you’re leaving pretty much everything that you have ever know and have always taken for granted. For those of you who follow me or know me well, my leaving was a very abrupt whirlwind.  I love my husband and would follow him anywhere. When I first left it was a bit exciting, but at the same time very hard to leave family, friends, my job and a brand new grandson.

I think about making big moves, especially when you’re older, to be like standing at home plate, bat in hand and a curveball is coming at you.  You have a few choices to make. One is pretty easy, stand there and hope it’s called a ball so that you can just walk through life. The other is to swing  your hardest. When you swing, you either get a hit or a strike, ( I know you could foul, but let’s keep it simple!) My point is that when faced with choices, we need to take a chance and hopefully if we choose to swing we’ll knock it out of the park. I sure did! Life is so good.

Although it was very frightening to leave my hometown and it’s taken me five years to meet new people, I am happy to say that this is now my hometown. I am looking forward to creating new friendships with solid bonds. I, like Sophia, joined a group and made new friends. It is easy to just sit home and feel sorry for myself, but taking the easy route is not only sad but very unhealthy, mentally and physically.

I am glad to have made a few new friends and hopefully I now have the courage to go make some more. Who knows someone might invite me to a weekend in Cancun!

Until Next Time,

Thank You For Being A Friend

MLG