I often just pop in a DVD and mindlessly watch the Girls while I iron or do housework, but this week in honor of father’s day I purposely watched episodes about fatherhood. The girls often had stories about their fathers and the fathers of their children. Blanches’  stories about “Big Daddy” always painted him as a very strong, intelligent man who was respected by all. Sometimes, his faults crept in, but she was always able to overlook them because she loved him so much.

I think that we all do that. If we really love someone we are able to overlook the little things and praise them for the good that they bring to our lives. Being a good father often makes up for little things like leaving the seat up or missing the anniversary of when you bought the new sofa ( yes, women remember these things and men often don’t care).

In the episode when Big Daddy passes away, Blanche is so busy preparing to be the Queen of the Citrus Festival Ball that she neglects to go to him in his final hours.  She is wracked with guilt and it causes a rift between her and her sister.  On the surface it seemed that she was just being selfish and didn’t want to interrupt her life to visit him, but I think that it was much more than that. I think that it was something that we all do and that is to take our fathers for granted, thinking that they will always be there for us. It’s hard to face death, especially the death of a parent.

Things happen to other people’s fathers, but not ours. I always thought of my father in that light, that he would live forever. Well, life is not like that. My father passed away twenty years ago. I often think of him and the time that we spent together. I was fortunate to live close and enjoy lots of time with him just talking and drinking coffee.  I love my family and when we all would get together, but my mornings, one on one with my dad will always be my favorite memories.

My dad was a police office and he often seemed larger than life to me as a child. Getting to know him as an adult was amazing. I found out that he was just a man who loved his family and tried his best to provide for them and guide them into being good adults.

I, fortunately had a job that started in late morning. I would drop off the kids at the sitter and go have coffee with my dad. My mom would sometimes join us, but often it was just him and me sitting on the deck. I remember him sitting on the steps. Not sure why he did this, the chairs were perfectly comfortable, but in the mornings he would sit on the step. I’d pull a chair up and we’d talk. I don’t remember all of our conversations, but I do remember that no matter how my morning started, he always made me happy.

In one episode of the Girls, Dorothy begins writing a letter to her father. He had been gone for over 25 years, but she felt the need to write down all the things that she wished she had said or had asked him. One regret that I do have is that I didn’t ask my dad more questions. I do know that he served in WWII, worked in a grocery store and built the house that I grew up in. He loved to fish and pretty much had my mom spoiled rotten.  I wish that I would have asked him about his experiences with all of these things. I would have asked him about his time during the war? how he learned to build an entire house?what their secret was to a long, loving marriage? why did he call my mom “puddin’? why he sat on the step?

If you are fortunate enough to have your father around as we celebrate Father’s day, give him a call or go visit him. Ask questions even if they seem silly at the time.  Write things down, take pictures and enjoy your time with him. We often forget that our fathers were once our age. They made mistakes and had triumphs; ask about them. Often these conversations are put on hold and are never had because of our busy lives.  Take a step back tomorrow and go see your dad.  It doesn’t matter if you talked to him yesterday or haven’t seen him in ten years, go visit or pick up the phone. Ask questions about his life or just say “I love you”.  Don’t wait until he’s gone to write a letter that will never be delivered.

Until Next Time….

Thank You For Being a Friend

MLG